", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. You don't. And theyre elected by American citizens. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ (George Carlin). Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. The planet is fine. 110. Best George Carlin Quotes. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. 81. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. Carlin didnt hesitate to criticize presidents by name Bill Clinton and George W. Bush among them but, more often, he spoke in broader terms and Thats the problem." If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. - Susan Polis Schutz -- "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." Carlins incisive approach and meaningful insight was thought provoking, providing a framework for introspection, prompting us to think out of the box and to challenge ourselves and our belief systems.Here we have collected for you the most inspirational and insightful quotes of this provocative and counterculture comedian to share with loved ones in order to brighten their day and make them smile, but also to enhance your views about the world we live in and make you see things from a different perspective for a better life! Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Continue with Recommended Cookies. WebNov 15, 2014 - Explore Boopsie's board "George Carlin:::Political quotes:::::" on Pinterest. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Believe me, my friend. ~ (George Carlin). Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). Manage Settings 6. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. In America, anyone can become president. It will not be with jack-boots. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. The future will soon be a thing of the past. I have as much authority as the Pope. Fuck em. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. ~ (George Carlin). 39. 107. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. BAM! 104. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. 76. 51. - Twyla Tharp -- "Let us dance in the sun, wearing windflowers in our hair." The people are f***ed. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ~ (George Carlin). "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ (George Carlin). Theres a humorous side to every situation. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. I think that speaks for itself. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. You know what they ought to do with churches? Its because volunteers work for no pay. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. https://t.co/Zz3gVH148b. Perhaps those who can really claim him as one of their own are the commoners, we the people, caught in the chaos. Its perfect. Being Irish isn't a skillit's a fucking genetic accident. You know what they are? 13. They've got the judges in their back pockets. People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 94. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. WebThis is the best we can do folks. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff." If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. 46. ", "I'm pretty sick of church people. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. 56. Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. 90. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. No president has done right by us. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. I just dont have as many people who believe it. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. No contest. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ (George Carlin). And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. I'm talking about the real owners, now. And I didnt really care in the first place. ~ (George Carlin). 120. 29. And why would it be America out of all the countries? Property is theft. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). They're all in favor of the unborn. 59. 44. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Deal with it. 101. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. On the face of it, one could say that he was an exceptional sociocultural critic who left a lasting mark in modern society through his witty reflections and incredibly entertaining sharp statements. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). 78. He won several Grammy awards and was posthumously honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. The planet is fine. 87. The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.And, now, they're coming for your Social Security. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ~ (George Carlin). They want your fucking retirement money. Some people see the glass half full. Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. WebGeorge Carlin Quote: Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. 36. I just dont have as many people who believe it. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. ", "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Theres no such thing. George Carlin If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes on Pride Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. 112. Posted at 11:33 am on May 22, 2022 by FoundersGirl. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Several reasons. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 91. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. 85. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). 65. Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any Black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? We think in language. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ~ (George Carlin). Women are crazy. I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. ~ (George Carlin). They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). In America, anyone can become president. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. What's the fucking mystery? 89. April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country 119. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 97. Im fu*kin serious! ~ (George Carlin). They will do anything for the unborn. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). Unfortunately, many progressives and today's so-called "social justice warriors" have reduced Carlin to an "antiquated, patriarchal white male oppressor. They've got you by the balls. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. Deal with it. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. ", "The God excuse: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. ", "You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. ~ (George Carlin). Someone outside the circle, looking in. Carlin was a cool guy; he wasn't racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other buzzword insult the P.C. Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. How can He be perfect? Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. 53. When society, government and organized religion showed their ugly sides, the iconic Carlin fearlessly jumped on stage to challenge their hypocrisy and corruption.Carlin's comedy wasn't just funny; it was a deep dive into human psychology and social criticism. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. It will not be with jack-boots. Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. 69. I don't trust none of them. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. They dont fall out of the sky. 118. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! The strikes left 34 people injured, including three children, and caused widespread damage. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. -- "Dance for yourself. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. They don't want to hear from you. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. April 27, 2023, by Libertarian Country ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. I have lots of ideas. They own everything," the quote reads. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ (George Carlin). 95. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. ~ (George Carlin). Never let the brain idle. No nothing. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ (George Carlin). Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. The [], The 4th President of the United States was an American statesman, diplomat, and Founding Father. The previous statement is false. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Deal with it. 62. 99. This is what we have to offer. And they will readily admit to being awkward: Im such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ~ (George Carlin). They're not pro-life. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Feel free to indulge in the philosophy and comedy of George Carlin, expect to be offended at least part of the time. 28. Teach them to question what they read. And America is not alone with this sort of delusions. Current quotes, historic quotes, movie quotes, song lyric quotes, game quotes 114. Now I feel better. ~ (George Carlin). 108. Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). Thats the problem. Language is the landscape of thought. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin, in full George Denis Patrick Carlin, (born May 12, 1937, New York, N.Y., U.S.died June 22, 2008, Santa Monica, Calif.), American comedian whose Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television routine led to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that gave the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) the right to determine when to 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. 33. 17. That in of itself should make you think.Carlin performed many standup comedy routines and HBO specials, acted in dozens of television and movie productions, recorded spoken-word albums, and was the author of several books, with titles like Brain Droppings (97) and Napalm and Silly Putty (01).What I loved about Carlin was his dedication to freethinking and independent thought. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Dont give your money to the church. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). If not, no matter." According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. 21. 50. Theres no present. 34. ", "Selling is legal. You have no choice. 123. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? TIME takes a look at some of the legendary comedian's most memorable lines. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, "Try to live together peacefully." But once you're born, you're on your own. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~ (George Carlin). The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. What do dogs do on their day off? George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 10. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. You enjoy yourselves. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. Because you have the most money? The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are, and ask, why? 19. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? The planet is fine. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. Fuck hope. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. ~ (George Carlin). They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. Thats the problem. We think in words. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. If you love someone, set them free. It will be a lot of fun. If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Why would God have a favorite country? Always do whatevers next. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). 27. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! God has. They will only bring you down to their level and beat Men are stupid. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Its never just a game when youre winning. ~ (George Carlin). No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you?